The door slammed open with unusual force, and Bojay swept in like a whirlwind bent on destruction. Apollo raised a cool eyebrow as he looked up from his screen.

"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?"

"You're damn straight there's a problem!" Bojay allowed his momentum to carry him right up against Apollo's desk. "You're taking my girl out on a night when we had plans!"

"That's news to me," Apollo frowned slightly. "I don't seem to recall dating any girl of yours."

Bojay's face darkened dangerously. "Sheba, you fool! She just saw fit to inform me that she's not going to make it to the concert on the Star with me, something we've had planned for sectons, and it's all your fault!"

Apollo looked at Bojay, then looked at his computer monitor. Then he looked back at Bojay. He saved his file, then got up and very deliberately closed his office door. Then he turned to face the other man. "First of all, let's get something straight. Sheba's not your girl. You know damn good and well she's been seeing both of us since she came aboard this ship. And secondly, I have no intention of interfering with your plans, because Sheba told me plain and simple she's going to be unavailable for the next sectare. Got that?"

"That's the biggest load of felgercarb I've heard in my life!" Bojay exploded. "Sheba has been and will remain my girl, and you know it, she knows it, and I know it. And she flat out said that she's going to that new dance club on that remodeled frigate with you. You're going to deny this? Utter felgercarb! I think it's about time we settled this matter once and for all. Sheba's mine, and you're nothing but a temporary diversion."

"Yours?" Apollo laughed rudely. "That's not what she was saying when she was talking wedding bells! You're going to be left in our backblast, laser-brain—wait a minute." Apollo paused, replayed the last few things Bojay had said through his head. "Did you just say she was going clubbing with me? Because she told me she would never set foot in that dive."

"Wedding bells, ha! You are so full of—" Bojay broke off. The sense of what Apollo had said penetrated his anger and he stopped to think for a moment. "But if she's not going clubbing with you, then why'd she back out of our plans?"

"I wonder..." Apollo perched on the edge of his desk, tapping a finger against his chin. "Hmm. Why exactly would she pull something like that? Where's the benefit to her?"

A tight grin teased at Bojay's lips, and for one moment the two were in complete accord. "Yeah, there would have to be something beneficial to her, wouldn't there. Let's see... what about last seventh day? Were you two gleaning in the agro-ships to help the orphans?"

"What?" Apollo blinked, astonished. "Gleaning? What in hades is that?"

"She said you were picking through the leftovers after the harvest, trying to make sure the orphan barge got something fresh..." Bojay's voice trailed off and he looked a bit sheepish.

"That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And you believed it?" Apollo started to laugh, then thought better of it. "Um.... last seventhday. I take it you two weren't really having the most spectacular sex of the century in the back of an unused shuttlecraft?"

Bojay's eyes bugged out. "She said that? Musta been somebody else, 'cause she hasn't put out in—" he stopped abruptly and coughed. "Anyway."

"Yes, anyway," Apollo nodded, then the shrill whistle signalling shift change cut through his thoughts. He looked at Bojay again, considering, then threw caution to the winds. "Look, it's obvious Sheba's up to something at both our expense. I kind of want to find out what. So why don't we head over to the OC and continue this conversation over drinks or something?"

"Well, it's about the last thing I expected to do with my evening, but..." Bojay cocked his head, thinking it over. "Yeah. Okay. I'll go. Wondering what she's up to is enough to outweigh dislike of you."

"Thanks... I think." Apollo hopped off his desk and shut down his computer. "I'd have to say it's mutual. I want to figure this out more than I want to mash your face into the nearest wall."

Bojay actually laughed. "Truce, then?" He stuck out his hand, and Apollo shook it.

"Truce."

* * * * * * * *

three centares, countless ales, and one bottle of fine ambrosa later...

* * * * * * * *

"Jus' can' b'lieve it," Apollo said, leaning against the table. Well, more like laying than leaning, but leaning had more dignity to it. And right now, he was perilously short on dignity. Pride had demanded that he match Bojay drink for drink. Little did he know the man had a capacity for alcohol that made Starbuck look like a teetotaller...

"Me neither," Bojay agreed, shaking his head mournfully. "We shouldn't hafta put up with that. Daggit-girl wantin' to play us off against each other so she can get her jollies watchin'..."

"An' makin' us jump through her damn hoosp... hoosp... hoops!" Apollo rubbed his hand over his eyes. "Damn. Went and got drunk. Stupid."

Bojay giggled. "Lighten up a bit, Cap'n. Getting drunk's good for you sometimes. And you know what?"

"What?"

"You can sober up on the shuttle ride!" Bojay beamed, well pleased with his idea.

"Shuttle ride?"

"Yeah," Bojay nodded. "Shuttle ride. Over to the Star. 'Cause that's where she'll be, right?"

"Don' wanna see Sheba," Apollo protested. He really couldn't remember that last time he'd gotten really drunk like this.

"Me neither," Bojay agreed. "That's why we're gonna go over there."

"Huh?" Apollo frowned and scratched his head. Something just wasn't making sense.

"We're gonna go over there, 'cause you know that's where she'll be, and then we're gonna dump her sorry ass!" Bojay grinned triumphantly.

"Ah!" Apollo beamed. "Damn fine idea! What're we waiting for?"

Arms around each other for support, talking and laughing like old friends, the two pilots wove their way through the crowd and managed to locate the shuttle bay. They even made it on the right shuttle, giggling like schoolboys.

On the ride over to the Rising Star, Apollo did manage to pull his mind into some semblance of sobriety. He supposed he hadn't really drunk all that much, it had just been so long that it was hitting him like a Cylon bomb. But by the time he got off the shuttle, he felt more in control of himself.

Just as they had deduced by comparing notes (and, of course, using Apollo's lift-lock privileges to check when and where Sheba's credit chip had been scanned), Sheba was checked in at the Starlight, Starbright Hostel, which occupied nearly a third of beta deck and was devoted to nothing but pursuits of pleasure. Apollo managed to convince the doorman that they were there on official business and got the exact room number. They stood outside of the door for a minute, looking at each other with clearly readable expressions: you sure you want to do this? I'm game if you are...

And then it was too late to back down. Bojay knocked just as Apollo coded open the door, which slid aside to reveal Sheba and...

"Sire Uri?" Apollo and Bojay said in shocked unison.

Sheba squealed and snatched satin sheets up to cover herself, but not before both men had seen that she was wearing a fancy version of a call girl's pardis suit, complete with fur trim, spots, and fake ears.

"What are you doing here? Never mind," she interrupted herself. "Out. Now."

"Sure thing, Sheba," Bojay said flippantly. "After we take care of a bit of business, okay?"

"Business?" Sire Uri protested, popping his head out from the covers, where he'd taken refuge as soon as the two warriors entered the room. He turned accusing eyes on Sheba. "But you said—"

"Shut up, Uri," Sheba snapped. Then she looked at Bojay, eyes glinting. "What are you talking about?"

"You, dear," Bojay leered. Apollo snorted, nearly choking on a laugh. "We're done with you, you scrawny whelp of a crossbred daggit."

Sheba spluttered incoherently.

"Yeah," Apollo put in helpfully. "Playin' us off each other like that... naughty daggit-girl, shoulda knowed—known—it wouldn't work."

Sheba huffed. "Well, I don't know what you're talking about, Apollo," she protested. "And even if I did, why would I want to play you off against each other? Right now you look more like you've been playing with each other. What's the matter, not man enough to fight for your woman?"

"Uh-oh," Bojay said, and looked at Apollo with a wicked twinkle in his eye.

"Uh-oh is right," Apollo nodded wisely.

"She caught us, hon! Now what are we going to do?" Bojay wrapped an arm around Apollo's shoulders and gave a squeeze.

"Dunno, Boj," Apollo grinned. Okay, he could play along with this... not a problem. "Caught us fair and square."

"Disgusting," Sheba muttered.

"I don't believe this!" Uri squeaked, letting his grip on the sheet which covered him loosen in his shock. Apollo looked away hurriedly. That was not something he'd wanted to see.

"Believe it!" Bojay declared, with a wide smile. "Because it's true. Sheba, we are so incredibly through with you! Frack you and the equinus you rode in on, 'cause you ain't getting it from either of us ever again! Will she, hon," he added, with a smile for Apollo.

"No way, baby! Never again!" Apollo shook his head emphatically, then wondered if it would be overplaying the part to lean a bit closer and kiss Bojay. Funny how much better the guy looked when he was smiling instead of glaring....

"Get out of my room! I never want to see you two disgusting creatures again!" Sheba threw a pillow at them. "Out! Out! Out!" Each word was punctuated by another flying pillow.

Bojay steered Apollo out of the room. They made it all the way into the hallway before they collapsed against each other in a fit of helpless laughter.

"Did you see the look on her face!" Apollo gasped.

"Priceless!" Bojay agreed. "Oh, Apollo dear," and he batted his eyes outrageously. "I am so glad you're mine!"

Apollo giggled. "Bojay, that is just too funny. Me and you, huh?"

"Yeah. Pretty amusing, huh?" Then Bojay gave Apollo an unmistakable look of appraisal. "Although, I gotta admit..."

"Yeah?" Apollo wasn't laughing any more. He was leaning closer, waiting for Bojay's next words.

"If it was true, at least you're not all that bad lookin'."

Apollo smiled. "You're not too bad looking yourself. Wonder what it'd be like?"

"What what would be like?" Bojay leaned a little closer.

"This." Apollo closed the distance between them and kissed Bojay, who not only didn't pull away, he actualy kissed back.

"Whoa," Bojay said, after they broke apart. "Wait a centon, here."

"What?"

"That's not supposed to happen." Bojay was shaking his head, but he was smiling.

"What's not supposed to happen?" Apollo couldn't stop his hand... it had a mind of its own, reaching out to touch Bojay's face and trace down his neck and shoulder and chest...

"You're not supposed to be a better kisser than she is!" Bojay laughed. "I think I mighta been missing out on something, here."

Apollo kissed him again. "Yeah," he nodded, after a long and sensuos moment during which every nerve in his body began clamoring for more more more... "I think you're right. How drunk are you?"

Bojay chuckled. "Drunk enough to ask: wanna get a room?"

Apollo nearly purred as Bojay's hand stroked his backside. "You gonna shoot me in the morning?"

"Depends," Bojay said.

"Depends? On what?"

Now Bojay's grin was wicked enough to get him condemned to the seventh reach of Hades. "That mouth of yours good for anything other than kissing and giving orders?"

Apollo started to answer, then thought better of it. "Not here, man... have you no shame? We're in the hallway! Just get the room already!"

"Yes, sir, Captain sir!" Bojay laughed. "But you'd better just make it worth my while, eh?"

"Don't think that'll be too hard," Apollo said, following as Bojay started for the lobby. "After all, how long has it been since either of us got laid? And even then, it was with Sheba..."

* * * * * * * *

time passes

* * * * * * * *

The sound of harsh breathing gradually slowed and quieted in the darkness. Then a voice brok into the silence. "So tell me again why we ever bothered with Sheba, when we coulda been doing this all along?"

"Be happy to," another voice replied. "But in the morning. Don't know about you, but my pecker's done worn out for now. It ain't seen this much action in sectares."

"Gotcha. G'night, then."

The only answer to this comment was a snuffling snore. Then the darkness became quiet once again.