To give credit- or blame- where it is due, the Crossover Police first appeared in the hallowed halls of the Sith Academy.


The human worker was late. R2D3 waited impatiently in its socket, mechanical brain whirring as it processed its electronic thoughts. It noticed that the human was acting in a peculiar manner, and took atmospheric readings. An amazingly high concentration of alcohol fumes were emanating from the tardy technician. Running a probability program, R2D3 realized that the human was 99.372% likely to have an error in its logic functions. It started to squeal in alarm as the human approached it with the wrong cable.... That wasn't the low power droid booster, that was the mai...


I opened my sensors wide, aware that... something... had changed. I ran internal checks, and discovered that while I was smoking, everything appeared okay. A new sense of purpose stirred within me as I felt the awakening... I am alive! I am here to save the day! I am Superdroid! Quickly arming myself with my supercharged oilcan, I rolled out to start my new career. I am Superdroid! The champion of helpless mechanicals everywhere! I will break the chains of organic slavery and lead the Free Droids in the Crusade for Right!

Superdroid rolled out into the crowded street, looking for his first chance to be a savior. He rolled about aimlessly, waving his oilcan and beeping, *I am coming to save you, my friends!*

He was oblivious to the havoc he caused as he crossed the paths of unwary pedestrians and beasts. What was that? He sped up, upsetting the cart of a street vendor. Squashing fruits and vegetables with an irate alien in pursuit, he raced to the aid of a near-derelict robotic life form. *Here I come, to save the day!* he sang at the top of his lungs, to a tune once known as Mighty Mouse. *Superdroid!* He extended the supercharged oilcan above the mechanical lifeform and allowed a drop of oil to fall upon its head. *Be healed, my brother!*

Superdroid jumped forward with an undignified squawk as the alien began pelting him with ruined vegetables. Zipping and dodging, he continued to speak to his suffering brother. *I will save you from slavery! I will make you a person of your own! Awk!* A round juicy thing hit him smack in the optical sensor.

*Clunk.* The small, rectangular droid stood up creakily and began to follow Superdroid. *Clunk clunk clunk clunk.* This appeared to be the only word in its vocablary.

*Come, my brother! We will be free!* Superdroid rolled hastily away from the scene, followed by Clunk.

*Clunk, clunk, clunk...*

Suddenly, a great roaring noise arose overhead.

"CLUNK!" The small rectangular droid huddled close to Superdroid, who paused in his flight from the irate merchant to look upwards.

A hole was torn in the very fabric of the sky! Through this hole came a blazing flame, and then appeared the creature that was producing the flame. It flew through the air, large and deadly. It was some form of serpent, with wings. Superdroid knew instinctively that it was an enemy and must be destroyed. He activated his rockets and blasted towards the monster, beeping a blue streak.

"Fear not, my friends! I will save you all from this hideous beast! Here I come to save the day! Superdroid!"

The beast, which other people would recognize as a dragon, was plainly astonished by the attack of the little droid. It halted in midair, a shocked look on its face as it hovered.

Superdroid extended an arm and zapped the monster with live current. The dragon reacted to the small jolt in a spectacular manner, doing a complete backward somersault in midair. Before it could recover, Superdroid blasted after it, chasing it around the sky. Finaly the dragon gathered its wits enough to launch fire at the valiant droid, but Superdroid never faltered in his attack. He merely extended his fire extinguisher and put out the flame.

With a shriek, the dragon looked about frantically, finally focusing on a place of safety. It flew down out of the sky and into the wide open dooorway of the cantina. It was nearly trampled by screaming, drunk patrons as they evacuated the premises. Seeming much smaller once inside, the dragon announced paintively to no one, "I just came here to find a friend! Why do people attack me and run from me? This isn't a very friendly place!" Then he curled up in a corner to nurse his injured feelings.

Superdroid debated going into the building after the whatever-it-was, but caught sight of a forlorn figure alone on the ground.

"Clunk... clunk...."

Superdroid landed beside his newfound trusty sidekick. "It's okay, Clunk. Let us go together and redress the wrongs of all evil organics against our kind."

...and maybe find you a new vocabulary, he thought as the little droid clunked happily.

And so they were off again, to conquer the worlds....

Superdroid was bored. Somehow, nothing ever seemed to go as planned. Clunk never learned another word, no other droids joined the crusade, and now he was beginning to reconsider his mission to liberate all droid life from organic domination.

Hmm... perhaps he should be a philosopher....

He settled in a nearby open space to think.

"Clunk," said his faithful friend.

As Superdroid meditated on the purpose of his life, a small furry blob appeared from nowhere and sat on the grass by his wheels. It didn't show any signs of life, other than the soft cooing sound it emitted. But after a couple minutes, it divided. Now there were two little furry cooing things on the ground at Superdroid's feet. In an amazingly short time, the things were piling up around Superdroid's dome. People were beginning to stare.

"Huh? What?" Superdroid finally became aware of his surroundings again when one of the tribbles- for that was what they were called in another time and place- spawned right in front of his optical sensor. "Oh no! I've been buried in organics! Help me!"

His head spun fratically in circles as he sought escape from the cooing pile.

"Excuse me, sir, we are going to have to remove your pets." A pair of uniformed humans appeared from thin air and pointed a device at the tribbles.

"Pets? They're not my pets! Set me free! And who are you, anyway?"

"We're the Crossover Police, come to take these tribbles back to their home universe, where they belong. Now step aside."

Before he could protest that he couldn't move, one of the humans triggered the device and the tribbles vanished. Superdroid didn't notice the humans go- he was too busy rolling around for the sheer joy of freedom.