Cupid settled in to his favorite corner, overlooking the crowded room. He'd been frequenting this establishment for quite some time, ever since his most annoying target had taken up residence on this ship. Sometimes he wondered why he bothered, but he'd never been able to resist a challenge. Perhaps tonight would finally see a resolution to this fiasco- after fifteen of the human's yahrens, he was tired of fooling around. He'd obtained the latest and strongest model of Ultra-Powerful Lust Inducing Arrows ever manufactured. The were worlds away better than the ordinary little stingers he used on most folk, guaranteed to cause instant lust and eternal devotion in the lucky victim- er, recipient- for the first person he laid eyes on. And Cupid wasn't taking any chances, not tonight- he had two of the arrows in his quiver, ready to go.

Ah... there they were now, both targets together as always. Cupid knew them nearly as well as he knew himself, after so long following them. The only thing he didn't understand was why they still resisted his efforts to get them in bed together. They were completely oblivious to his prodding, despite the fact that they were always together and anyone could see the love they felt for each other. Well, tonight all would go well. There was nothing that could possibly go wrong.

The two targets sat at a table by themselves and ordered drinks. Cupid crept around into optimal firing position, lust-inducers at the ready. He fitted one arrow to the string, drew back, aimed right for the dark one's heart... loosed. The arrow flew straight and true, followed less than a heartbeat later by the one aimed for the blonde. Both men jumped as the arrows hit home, and Cupid felt a cheer of victory welling up within him.

"Captain?"

The dark target turned towards the speaker. A completely enraptured look spread over his face. No! It wasn't possible... but it was. Cupid watched in horrified fascination as the blond one turned to the newcomers as well, utter devotion written across his features as he looked upon the second visitor.

Cupid groaned as his targets proceeded to make fools out of themselves over the two women. This was just too much... he needed help on this one. Time to call in his mother.

"What was that you said?" Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, paused in her walk through the gardens of Olympus.

"I said I need your help, Mother. These poor fools are making a mockery of your blessing and I can not sort them out on my own."

"Tell me again of this situation."

Cupid muttered under his breath. If she'd been listening the first time, he wouldn't have to repeat himself. "There are a group of humans who colonized the stars- remember them?"

"Ah yes, those with the touching tendency to keep the old names alive. Go on." Aphrodite sniffed a rose dreamily.

"I have been working among them for eons, and they respond just as well to my arrows as any other humans. But recently, there are two whom I can not get to acknowledge their love. I have tried- believe me, I have tried everything, from simple love dust to the most powerful new technology."

His mother frowned at that. She believed that love should flow freely and naturally, with much praise to her.

"Anyway," Cupid said hurriedly, "these two fools, Starbuck and Apollo, persist in staying out of each other's arms. This last attempt I made- which should have worked, I swear it!- has ended in disaster. They are now fixated upon two women who were mere innocent bystanders."

Aphrodite frowned prettily. "Perhaps you had better take me to view these fools of yours."

"Sure thing, Mother!" Cupid was relieved. Once she saw them, she would surely know what to do.

"There they are, Mother," he whispered, clinging to the wall of the luxury liner Rising Star. His two targets and the women were acting disgustingly sappy in one of the private dining rooms, out for a double date.

"Tell me who is who," she whispered back.

"The dark one there is Apollo. He's the most stubborn of the lot. The girl on his arm- that one's known as Sheba, may the Thunderer help us all. He couldn't have picked anyone worse to get infatuated with. The blonde man- that's Starbuck. The girl he's with is Cassiopeia. I thought I had them broken up good and proper, but I guess those lust-inducers are a bit too powerful."

"I see what you mean, my son," Aphrodite said thoughtfully. "I can see the ties of love between those two clearly- and here I thought it was just more of your desire to see pretty men in bed together."

Cupid squirmed. "Aw, come on, Mom! Surely you can't hold it against me, I mean after all, look how long we all spent in ancient Greece..."

"Yes, yes." She smiled indulgently. "Now, what shall I do about this? Hmm..."

Cupid watched the scene below with horror. Utterly sappy, the lot of them- his stomach churned as he watched his targets fawning over the women, declaring undying love for them.

"Fool humans," Aphrodite said softly. Cupid's attention snapped onto her. "You mock me with your words. By ignoring your true love, you have brought much suffering upon yourselves and denied me my due."

Cupid wriggled in anticipation. He knew that tone- she was getting all worked up. This was going to be good.

"For your foolishness, I shall extract a price. Tonight you shall provide entertainment for my son and I, before you go home locked in the embrace of your true love and soul mate. Let the games begin!"

She clapped her hands.

"Oh, Sheba," Apollo sighed. "You are so beautiful. Why did I never see it before? Surely I must be the greatest fool ever born, to have missed out on your wonderful company willingly for so long..."

Sheba giggled and blushed. Apollo leaned close to kiss her, this divine beauty who had finally caught his eye-

A sound almost like faint laughter reached his ears and he jerked away. "Sheba? Why the hell was I just kissing you?" He looked around frantically. "Starbuck! Why are you kissing Cassie? And how the hell did we get so mixed up in here?"

Starbuck opened his eyes and jumped back. "Frack! Cassie, I thought you were Sheba! How in hells did that happen?"

"I don't know what is going on here, but I suggest we get back to our proper partners," Sheba said, with a frigid glare for Apollo. He hastily rose to let her return to Starbuck's side. Eew! He couldn't believe he'd actually been kissing her. Cassie slid back into his arms with a smile.

"Ah, much better... Now, where were we?"

"Mother!" Cupid couldn't tear his eyes away from the horrifying scene below. "You've got it all wrong, still! It's Apollo and Starbuck that belong together."

Beside him on the wall, Aphrodite continued to laugh. She wiped tears of mirth from her eyes. "I know, son, but did you see the looks on their faces? That was too funny! I haven't had such a good laugh since- since- I can't remember when!"

"But you'll fix them, right?" Cupid asked anxiously, wringing his hands. To have waited so long for this, only to have his mother mess it up... "You'll make it come out right, won't you?"

Aphrodite snickered one more time, then grinned at her son. "Oh, very well, since you asked so nicely..." She waved her hand over the humans below.

"Awk!" Starbuck yelped and dropped his arms from around Sheba. "What do you think you're doing, kissing me like that?"

"Me? Kissing you? Fat chance, flyboy! It was you who attacked me. Cassie!" She looked across the table with wide eyes. "What are you doing over there?"

Cassie pulled away from Apollo as though burned. "I don't have any idea, Sheba," she said, puzzled. She scrubbed her hand across her mouth.

"Get back over here, and save me from this lout Starbuck!" Sheba glared at Starbuck, who whimpered and shrank back against Apollo.

"It's okay, Star," Apollo said, wrapping a comforting arm around Starbuck. "It must have been something in the food, or maybe the ambrosa. Everything will be alright now."

"Promise?" Starbuck looked up at Apollo with utter devotion in his blue eyes. "No more games?"

Apollo's insides melted. "No more games, love," he said, and kissed Starbuck. He was dimly aware of the girls leaving, arms around each other, but didn't care. All was finally right with the world.

"Awwwww..." Cupid sighed, a goofy smile on his face. "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome, son," she said, with a fond smile. "Now make sure they worship me properly tonight!"

"Oh, I will," he said, with an avid gleam in his eye. "I will."