Far beyond these castle walls
where I thought I heard Teiresias say
"Life is never what it seems,
and every man must meet his destiny..."
~Styx

It was happening again. Torisen groaned and put his head in his hands. He shivered and shook in the grip of a wild storm of energy. His muscles clenched and twitched as liquid fire poured through his nerves. Then it was gone, as suddenly as it had happened, and he was aware of his sister staring at him with open concern.

"What is happening to me, Jame?"

Jame looked at her brother's tortured features. He had finally unbent enough to admit something was wrong, now would he accept the solution? He'd been amazingly good about it so far... She decided to let him have it. Without stopping to wonder where the knowledge was coming from, she told him excatly what was happening to him.

"It's your Shanir heritage, Tori." He gave her his undivided attention. "You know the Senetha is used to generate the energy behind combat... well, a Shanir uses the Senetha in a similar manner, but to greater effect. It's a technique that's been lost since the Fall, when Shanir abilities fell into disgrace. With the proper training, a Shanir can use the energy for things other than combat. But without training, all that energy is unguided, uncontrolled, and you see..."

"What I've been seeing." Tori nodded thoughtfully. "Headaches, nausea, worse insomnia than I've ever had- and that's saying a lot-"

"Shocking people when you touch them..." Jame grinned. She rather liked the hair-raising effect- it was amusing to watch people fidget uncomfortably when in close proximity to her brother, as the wild energy coursing through him caused their hair to take on a life of its own.

"So what else do I have to look forward to?"

"Nothing fun, I assure you. Eventually, the energy imbalance can kill you. Until then, all sorts of things can happen, depending on how far gone you actually are."

"Nice." He resumed his restless pacing around the tower room. Jame noticed that he still avoided looking at the fireplace or the window, and wouldn't go near the couch. "Is there anything that I can do to prevent that?"

Jame cheered silently. If he was asking, he might be willing to do as she knew he must and train that raw, wild ability of his. "There is. If you learn how to use your Shanir powers to control the energy, you will be fine."

"Shanir. It all comes down to that, doesn't it?" He stopped pacing in front of the window, absently caressed the sill and then looked away. Jame saw the flash of pain in his eyes and wanted to strangle Kindrie. Fool, he was causing a ridiculous amount of damage, by doing nothing. "And can you help with that?"

"I can."

"How do you know of this, anyway? This forgotten skill from the past..."

"Remember who my teacher was, brother."

"Tirandys. Of the Master's generation..." he paused, a startled look crossing his face. "That reminds me... Gerridon said something, which I'd almost forgotten. He called me Jamethiel's little boy."

Jame groaned. "Names of God... Tori, do you remember our mother?"

"Not really. A voice, a soft hand- old stories, told at night... Who was she, Jame?"

"Jamethiel Dream-weaver."

Torisen groped blindly for something to support him and settled onto a dusty chair. "I was afraid you'd say something like that. Trinity. How'd that happen?"

"Gerridon sent her out to breed a new soul-taker. He wasn't expecting twins."

"Lord. So much for ties of blood- he seemed rather eager to do me in." His mouth quirked upwards.

"Tori, no one ever said we had a normal family." Jame knew her brother would be fine when he laughed.

Jame waited impatiently. She knew he would be here soon, but where was he? This place made her uneasy. Too many darkling creatures inhabited this plane, some of which she had foggy and unpleasant memories of from the past. He kept her safe here, prevented her from doing anything stupid. Tirandys...
She wondered at the strength of her desire to see him again. What was happening to her? While she was here, he was all she could think of. It was disturbing.
"Jamie."
"Where have you been!" She saw him at last, emerging from a drift of mist. As always in the dreamscape, he glowed faintly blue around the edges.
"I was detained." His face betrayed nothing of his thoughts, nor did his carefully blank voice. "The Master sought to reach out to me and have words."
"Oh no!"
He extended a hand towards her and she took it automatically. She followed him into his home,

"What happened?"

"Nothing much, really- Gerridon tried to order me around again, but he is still in such a weakened state that I was able to banish him easily from this plane. Your brother dealt him quite a blow."

"Speaking of whom..." And the talk turned to Tori and training methods. Jame buried her odd feelings under the discipline required by the Senetha techniques.

"A word with you, Kindrie."

The Shanir froze midstride. He turned towards Torisen stiffly, eyes wide. "Yes, Highlord?"

"Come here a moment."

Reluctantly, the other approached. Torisen grasped his arm when he was within reach and pulled him in close.

"You know, you can't get away from me without causing a scene," he said casually, in a low voice. The other nodded, avoiding the Highlord's intense gaze. "Walk with me."

The two strolled casually through the slowly emptying dining hall. Torisen did not relase his hold on the healer's arm. Now that he'd caught the man, be damned if he'd let go. Trinity, he runs like a spooked rabbit whenever I get near, and it's been- what, two weeks? three? since we were together. Not counting the day he put me back together again and then sat with me till I woke up, I was scarcely in any condition to notice him...

"We need to talk. Agreed?"

Kindrie nodded.

"Then come in here, and don't try to escape." Torisen opened the door to the herald's office, in between the dining hall and the grand ballroom. Now that Jame had helped him deal with the energy problem, he felt capable of dealing with his other major problem- Kindrie. Inside, among the dusty books filled with familial devices and the significance of fantastical beasts and colors, he at last let Kindrie reclaim his arm. The Highlord stared at the healer, completely expressionless, and shifted his stance for comfort. There were no chairs in the herald's small office, and this was likely to take a while. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I should think that would be obvious, my lord." Kindrie's voice was smooth, pale eyes carefully blank. Torisen longed to crack that calm exterior, to find some hint of emotion in those cold eyes.

"Because of that night?"

The man actually flinched. "I must apologize, my lord." He took a deep breath and fixed his eyes on a point somewhere beyond Torisen's head. "You were upset, and what I did was unforgivable in those circumstances. It will not happen again."

What you did? Torisen thought wryly. I seem to recall it was me who started it all... "Ah, Kindrie," he sighed. He ran a finger down the other man's jawline, then stroked his thumb across that stubborn chin. "I enjoyed what happened. True, I was upset, but I knew what I was doing." He dropped his hand to grasp the thin shoulder. Kindrie shifted the focus of his eyes to Torisen at last. "I need your help, friend. I can call you that, can I not? I don't know why you've been avoiding me so thoroughly, but I hope that will stop now. Will you still be a friend to me?"

Tori knew he was laying it on a bit thick, but it was worth it to at last see a flicker of response in those eyes. "You mean- you don't hate me?"

"I do not." He laughed, a short sharp sound, and let his hand fall. "I never truly did."

"I thought... never mind. What did you wish of me?"

"Your help," he said simply. "I have been forced to change dramatically, and I find I no longer know myself. I need to find out who I am now, and I don't think I can do it entirely on my own."

"I am here for you... Torisen." The hesitant note in Kindrie's voice twisted in his gut. Why do you fear me so? But he knew the answer to that.

"Thank you." Tension flowed out of his shoulders and he grinned. "So tell me- why have you been running every time I try to get near you? You haven't even let me thank you for saving my life."

"You're welcome," he said softly. He looked away quickly, waited a moment. Then he raised his eyes again. "I may have left the priesthood, but I still have ethics." At Torisen's puzzled frown, Kindrie elaborated. "I know better than to take advantage of someone in a vulnerable state." He paused, looked away. His jaw clenched for a moment, then he continued. "I wanted... what happened so badly that I... chose to forget that. It was unethical and unforgivable." He gazed steadfastly at a spot on the floor.

"There is nothing to forgive," Torisen said softly. He brushed his hair back from his eyes. Kindrie looked up at him, self-loathing plain in his eyes. "You did not take advantage of my emotional state- I would have been attracted to you anyway, had I ever bothered to look beyond my own fool prejudices. Why do you think I was always so uncomfortable around you?"

A faint smile met this remark. The bleak look faded slowly. "I never guessed."

"Neither did I." Tori laughed briefly. "Burr guessed about you, though."

"What?"

"It was almost funny, how uncomfortable he was. He made it a point to tell me, shuffling and humphing the whole time, how he thought you might be attracted to me."

Yes, Burr, he had said, straight faced. I had noticed that before, myself. What gave you that idea, though?

"Oh? And what made him think that?"

"Nothing much, just the fact that you spent three days attached to my hand while I was out."

"Oh." The healer blushed, shifted awkwardly. "I, uh..."

"It's okay, I don't mind." Tori smiled, thinking how little he minded the thought of Kindrie in his bed. Pervert, snickered the voice in his head.

"You really mean that, don't you," Kindrie observed, eyes wide with wonder. He reached out and took the Highlord's hand, tracing the faint network of scars. "What happened? I've wondered about these for a while now."

"I was at Urakarn." Torisen's voice was flat, expressionless. "The Karnides..." Kindrie nodded understanding. His fingers continued to follow the lines on the Highlord's hands.

"I lost my brother to them. His name was Kendran."

Torisen quickly reviewed the names and faces etched forever into his memory. "I'm afraid I didn't know him. I was only a one-hundred commander then." He enjoyed the light touch of the healer's sensitive hands for a moment, eyes half closed, smiling faintly. "Sometimes I wish that had never changed. But someone had to do something, before the Highborn feuds destroyed the entire Kencyrath."

"You have indeed done that, my lord."

"Ah-" Torisen, annoyed, opened his eyes. "Don't call me that. At least not in private. I get so tired of everybody treating me like I'm better than they are- I'm just a man. Just an ordinary man, with interests beyond keeping our people alive and more or less on speaking terms."

"Very well... Torisen." There was a different quality to the hesitation in Kindrie's voice now. He smiled slowly and raised a hand to the back of Tori's head, twining his fingers through the thick black hair. "Are you certain about what you said before?"

Tori leaned into the caress. "I am certain. I would have come to the same conclusion eventually, but having my world pulled out from under me just made it all come clear much sooner. You did nothing wrong."

"I shall take you at your word, then. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, though..."

Tori smiled and shook his head. "Not likely."

Kindrie hoped the Highlord meant what he said. His conscience had been eased, his fears dispelled in mere heartbeats by those oh-so-welcome words, but now he was inclined to examine every word out of his mouth for hints of manipulative intent. "Now, at risk of truly making you hate me, I must leave. I had plans to meet with someone after the evening meal."

The pressure of Kindrie's fingers invited Torisen to move closer, so he did. He was surprised to find himself trembling as the other man drew closer still. Their lips brushed lightly, then Torisen pressed himself eagerly against Kindrie, lost in the moment he had waited so long for. Lips met and teased each other briefly, then Kindrie pulled away. He smiled at Tori's wordless sound of protest. "I promise," he whispered intensely, gazing into the silver-grey eyes so close to his own, "I will not run from you any longer." Then he was gone. Torisen took a deep, shuddering breath. He briefly considered letting his legs fold under him, which they really wanted to do, but decided the cold stone floor would do him little good. Instead he straightened his hair and strode purposefully out into the corridor. He reached his rooms without incident. Safely inside, he at last allowed himself to collapse on the couch.

Well, that problem was taken care of- for the moment. Paranoia suggested that Kindrie had surrendered too easily, after all that time spent avoiding any contact. As for his other problems... well, Caineron had at last packed up his sons and left. Apparently Jame had done something sufficiently appalling to chase the old lord and his family away. Too bad it couldn't be forever. Jame herself, on the other hand, was an entirely different problem. What was he to do with her, anyway? She was becoming adept at confounding her tutors, while still managing to be enough in the public eye that no one could forget about her. He snorted- probably no Highborn woman had enjoyed so much notoriety since the Fall. Surprisingly, people were adapting well to her wild ways. Torisen received the impression that his retainers were rather amused by her.

But that was neither here nor there. He still had no idea what the future would hold- once so certain, now it was a constantly shifting nebulosity, thanks entirely to the unpredictable influence of his sister.

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